


Unbelievable Gwenpool: Hero No Longer For Hire

by MrCynical



Category: Daredevil (Comics), Daredevil (TV), Marvel (Comics), Unbelievable Gwenpool
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Comedy, Crime Fighting, Dark Comedy, Fast and Loose with Continuity, Gen, MCU Influence, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Possibly OOC, Post-Issue #25, Team Up, Unbelievable Gwenpool Sequel, or at least attempted crime fighting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 13:35:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14833253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrCynical/pseuds/MrCynical
Summary: Following her experiences between the panels of reality, a newly invigorated Gwenpool starts on her quest to become a full-fledged, Avengers approved superheroin!Currently have the basics of two main arcs planned, and depending on feedback I get, I'll likely edit those or come up with more.





	1. Illusions and Delusions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta admit that this is my first time writing Gwenpool or about Marvel in general really, so apologies if she's a bit too Deadpool-ish. Please tell me if it is or isn't, feedback is the only way I'll improve.

Gwen idly hummed to herself as she scoped out the warehouse through her binoculars, spying on the people going in and out from a building across the block. Leather jackets, balaclavas, guns way too sci-fi looking to be legal… yep, definitely a supervillain hideout. The young woman grinned widely as she set the tool down and pulled out a pair of pistols, twirling them playfully. “Jackpot, Cecil! Looks like our superhero career officially starts today!”

**“Are you sure this is the best idea? I mean, that’s like twelve guys and you don’t have any backup. In case you didn’t notice, you can’t just throw me around like a Pokemon anymore…”** The recently resurrected hacker replied over the phone. The ex-merc rolled her eyes at that.

“I’m the protagonist, remember? The writer doesn’t have the balls to kill me in the first chapter!” She replied before winking at the sky and leaping off the rooftop. Gwenpool landed on a rather conveniently placed trampoline, bouncing her high enough to reach the next rooftop as she giggled excitedly. “Besides, even if it’s too much I’ll probably end up getting saved by someone and it can become a team up story!”

**“You don’t have the best track record with superhero team ups…”**

Gwen’s smile fell a bit. “Okay, so maaaaybe I managed to piss off a lotta people, but they wouldn't let me die!”

She continued running along, jumping from building to building and drawing closer to her target until Cecil spoke up again.  **“If you say so. Wait, did you remember to use rubber bullets?”**

She laughed as she slipped the magazine out of one of her guns. “Of course I-” She found herself looking at cold hard lead inside. “Crap! Well, guess I can’t use these yet. Stupid no-killing rules…” She grumbled, holstering the sidearms. The criminal hangout was just across the street now, maybe about a twenty foot drop? Fortunately for her, there just so happened to be a guy keeping watch. He should break her fall pretty nicely…

“Ow! fuck! What inda hell-” The thug was interrupted by a swift kick in the face from the wannabe superhero, knocking him out. Her brow furrowed as she heard the footsteps of a  _ lot  _ of pissed off guys.

“Okay, that was a little louder than I thought. Plan B!” Gwen shouted, unsheathing her katanas.

**“No killing!”**

“I’m not! Maiming is allowed, right?” She asked, tossing one of the swords at the first guy to round the corner. It flew past him and into a wall, startling him but otherwise leaving him perfectly fine. 

“Is that Deadpool?” One of them asked, making Gwendolyn glare at them, her teeth bared in annoyance.

“I’m not Deadpool! Come on, I’ve been around for like three years!”

“If it were Deadpool, we’d already be dead. It’s just that knock off,” A new voice announced from above. They all looked up to find a man dressed in an obnoxious shade of green, a purple cloak flowing behind him while a shining orb rested where a head should be. Mysterio looked down upon her. “Everyone load the truck. I’ll deal with-”

“UUUUUGH. Seriously?  _ Mysterio  _ is my first villain? That’s so lame! Can’t I at least get Bullseye? Maybe even Vulture?” Gwen groaned, drawing a frustrated growl from the illusionist.

**“Wait, Mysterio?! Gwen, get out of there!”**

“Lame? Let’s see how ‘lame' you think I am after this!” He threatened, tossing down a grenade that exploded into green gas. Gwen turned and covered her mouth, trying not to breathe the gas in. Despite her efforts, however, she found herself choking it in as some of it passed through her mask. After a few seconds of hacking, she groaned again and looked around in anger.

**“Gwen? Gwen,** **are** **you** **okay-** **”** Cecil’s signal cut out, fading into static and only serving to worsen her already sour mood.

“Okay, I was going to just beat you up, but now I think I’m going to shove this katana right up your- AH!” She cried out in pain as she felt something hard slam into the back of her head, sending her vision swimming. Gwen rolled on her back and pulled her pistols, firing wildly at the newly revealed Mysterio. “Screw it! I hope you have decent insurance!”

He disappeared again before any of her shots could hit him, making her curse under her breath in frustration as she jumped to her feet.  _ “Everything looks normal, but c-list as he is, that gas is working. Why couldn't it have been Kingpin’s guys?”  _ She lamented. The merc-turned-hero took out her remaining katana, swinging it around in case fishbowl tried to punch her again as she ran into the warehouse. It looked completely empty, but she smirked and simply pulled out a grenade and tossed it carelessly in the center. It exploded after a couple seconds, painting everything nearby in pink paint… including the previously invisible goons and getaway car.

“Bingo! Beat that, you discount Scarecrow!” She taunted gleefully, jumping towards the crooks and shooting them in the legs. She dodged a punch from one and countered with a solid kick to the groin, courtesy of Batroc’s training. Gwen turned and shot out the tires of the van in case they tried to drive away. Just then, however, she heard a gunshot and a burst of pain coursed through her and made her cry out. Sure enough, there was a bullet hole in her arm, her eyes widening at the sight.

“Ow-ow-ow! Jeez-us, what happened to my plot armor?!”

She turned to the guy that shot her and ran towards him, dodging more rounds until she was close enough to shove her katana in his foot and slam his head into the hilt, knocking him out. Gwenpool looked around, seeing the reality of the warehouse start to fade back into being. The building was filled with the groans of the men she’d beat, a grin coming to her lips as she merrily skipped towards a man desperately trying to crawl out the back door, grabbing her other katana out of the wall and pointing it at him. “Ah-ah-ah! Consider yourself the lucky winner! Tell me what you were doing here and I’ll give you five minutes before I call the cops. It’s better than what your buddies’ll be getting,” She taunted, stopping the man in his tracks. He looked up at her with wide, fearful eyes.

“You mean you’re not gonna kill me?”

“The Avengers don’t really like that, so I’m trying not to. I thought the head start was all the incentive needed, buuuuut I could start using this sword if you’d prefer!”

“Stop! Stop! Please, for the luvva god, I’ll talk! Shit, Beck ain’t paying us enough for this!”

_ “So it’s still Quentin Beck then. At least I won’t have to play guess who with all the copycats,”  _ She thought to herself as he continued.

“He’s having us ship out all this Kree shit from one of those S.H.I.E.L.D. bases and pawn it off! We get it from some vault in Bell’s Kitchen! I dunno who’s buying, I just load the crates and move ‘em where I’m told!”

Gwen considered this for a moment before shrugging and sheathing the sword. “I guess not everyone can be a cool supervillain. Fine, get to crawling. Oh, and the hospital is east, so you might want to go there,” She informed, guestering to his gunshot-ridden ankle and kneecaps. Suddenly, a window shattered, drawing her attention.

“Gwendolyn,” Mysterio said simply. She spun on her heels, a nasty grin.

“Oh, hey Mysty! I was hoping I’d get another chance to shoot you!” The woman greeted sarcastically, pulling her pistol once more and firing three shots at the man.

“Merde! What are you doing?!” He demanded as he dodged her shots, making her roll her eyes under the pink goggles of her mask.

“Stopping you. Duh. Is that helmet cutting off airflow, Terrible Eyeball?” She taunted, shooting more. He kept dodging, making his way towards her until she suddenly felt the gun get kicked out of her hands. She blinked, and suddenly Mysterio was replaced with a French mercenary… a rather annoyed looking one at that. “Wait, Batr-?”

**BWACK**

***

When Gwen woke up, she had an absolutely killer headache. She groaned as her eyes fluttered open, first noticing the lingering pain in her arm that had apparently been treated at some point based on the gauze around it, realizing soon after that she recognized this place, even if she couldn't recall how she got there. Batroc’s apartment had hardly changed since the last time she’d been there a few months prior, and neither had her pseudo-mentor, the martial artist quietly reading on the velvet couch. He glanced up and closed the book before elegantly leaping towards her.

“Bonjour, Gwen. I assume you aren’t going to try and kill me once more?” He greeted, the woman about to apologize before he held up a hand. “I jest. Your friend explained what happened. He sent me to help you.”

Gwen sighed, slumping a little. “I lost to Mysterio. Mysterio! I beat Doctor friggin’ Doom, and I lost to a c-list Spiderman villain?” 

Batroc gently laid a hand on her shoulder, making her look up at him. “It is hardly anything to be distraught about. After all, has he not held his own against several Avengers in the past?”

The former hitwoman tilted her head in consideration. “Yeah, I guess he has. I mean, he even beat Daredevil once-WAIT!” She gasped loudly, eyes widening. “The original Mysterio, random references to continuity, and I got nerfed? I’m not in a novel! I’m in a fanfiction!”

The Leaper merely raised an eyebrow, unknowingly also tilting up his moustache. “I thought you claimed reality was a comic book. And what is a ‘fanfiction'?”

“It normally is, but now it’s a fanfic of a comic involving fanfics! This is so meta!” Gwen was practically squealing with joy. “Okay, okay, if I can go between panels, does that mean I can-”

She suddenly disappeared, the French mercenary looking at where his friend and former colleague had been for a moment before sighing and returning to his book. Crazy, but that was basically normal for anything involving her. He had no doubt they’d likely see each other again soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should point out that I dislike most of Marvel's current continuity outside of Gwenpool, so this is basically going to be me cherry-picking canon. The things I need to say absolutely did not happen in this continuity:
> 
> One More Day  
> Civil War 2  
> Most of the first Civil War  
> Nazi Steve Rodgers  
> Nazi Magneto  
> Parker Industries (though parts of Spiderman/Deadpool are still canon)  
> and basically anything else I found dumb.


	2. Dare Ya

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwenpool goes between the chapters, bumps into a certain hero whose superpower is Catholic guilt, and tracks down Mysterio!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Editing and some suggesting done by my good friend Captain Omnitron! Read his works here: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2798000/Captain-Omnitron
> 
> Side note, I've decided to allow anonymous commenting this time around. Enjoy!

Gwen blinked as she looked around the endless, blinding white.

_ “I wouldn’t say that. There are some words,”  _ The vigilante idly noted.  _ “Wait! You’re putting me in italics? Come ON, give me pink text!” _

No. It’s overdone. Keep it up and I’ll have you talk in comic sans.

Ms. Poole glared at the sky, mask narrowed and frown prominent.  _ “Jerk… fine,”  _ She sighed in defeat.  _ “Can you at least tell me where Mysterio is to further the plot?” _

Come on, you were in the last chapter! You know where his goons said he is!

_ “They said “Bell’s Kitchen”. You know, the old writer didn’t have typos THIS bad.” _

Yeah, and they also had an expert editorial board and actually got paid, so sue me.

Gwen shrugged.  _ “Fair enough. Can you do a scene in Hell’s Kitchen? It’s a pretty far walk from here…” _

***

All things considered, it was a rather quiet night for Daredevil. The odd mugging here or there but no Hand, no Bullseye, not even Punisher. Matt smiled slightly as he leaned against a steeple. He just might be able to take Foggy and Karen up on that offer to go out drinking-

“DAAAAAAAREDEVIL! Yoohoo!” 

Well, so much for that. The blind vigilante leapt from the church, throwing out his club and swinging towards the source of whoever was looking for him. As he crept closer, a clearer picture started to form. Female, probably young based on her voice, armed. Daredevil landed loudly just behind her, making her jump and reach for one of her guns, but stopped just before pulling it.

“Daredevil! Wow, you’re even cooler in person-”

“What are you doing in my city, and why are you looking for me?” He interrupted as he began marching towards her ominously. 

Gwenpool giggled excitedly. “I’m being threatened by  _ Daredevil _ ! Matt, do you mind if I take a pict-ow!” She found herself pinned to the wall behind her before she could even realize her mistake, the exposed parts of his face contorted in anger while he glared at her with red eyes. “Wait! Let me explain! My name is Gwenpool. Does it sound familiar?”

His grip intensified. “You’re a third rate mercenary. Doesn’t answer any of my questions.”

Her eyes widened a bit in pain. “Owowowowow! I’m sorry! Look, I’m from a universe where you’re a comic book character! That’s how I know your namepleaseletgo!” She squeaked out. The devil of Hell’s Kitchen didn’t move for a moment, simply staring at her. He let her go with a grunt, the merc quickly catching herself from falling over.

“I don’t know if you’re crazy or what, but you’re telling what you think is the truth.” Murdock said icily. Gwen raised an eyebrow at him, half smiling.

“Well, duh. Why would I lie to someone whose whole gimmick is lie detection? That’s like trying to be a worse person than Antman! Anyway, Mysterio is supposed to be hanging around here somewhere and I know you beat him before. Wanna tag along?” She asked, pretending to be calm but absolutely giddy at the idea of teaming up with  _ the _ Daredevil.

Matt’s eyes narrowed. “Quentin is back? Fine, but we do this by my rules. Got it?” The merc nodded vigorously. “Good. Do you know where he is specifically?”

_ **BOOOM!!!** _

A flash of fiery light burst from a few blocks away, the sound of screaming and crumbling stone ringing out soon after. “You know, it just came to me!” Gwen quipped. Daredevil bolted from the rooftop before Gwen could even turn back to him, leaving her indignantly shouting for him to come back. She growled before turning to the sky. “Damn it! Hey, writer? Do the thing again.”

Nope, if I let you do it all the time people will ask why you don’t do it during the climax. Gwen huffed and started jogging towards the site of the explosion, grumbling under her breath.

***

“Quentin Beck! Surrender now, or we will open fire!” Some no-name agent threatened, making Mysterio scoff. They’d cornered him in the base he’d been stealing weapons from, a maze of boxes and storage units stacked as high as the ceiling. Robbing S.H.I.E.L.D had been risky to be sure, but it was well worth the money he was making. Even then, they’d still taken longer than expected to actually get around to stopping him. Clearly, the agency was getting sloppy with Fury and that right hand woman of his missing. Still, they were competent enough to be equipped with gas masks, canceling put his hallucinations.

“Counter offer: Leave with your lives!” He shouted back moments before they opened fire, the illusionist taking cover behind a pillar. “Fine then! Perhaps you’ll be more willing to negotiate after  _ this _ !”

He tossed a small and round object at them, one screaming “Grenade!” Before they scrambled for cover. Beck took the opportunity to run for it. After all, it wouldn’t take them long to realize it was just a rock. The villain bolted to the left, disappearing from the agents behind rows of crates. It wasn’t just mindless evasion, however. He’d installed a secret exit in case S.H.I.E.L.D or that idiot webslinger got any bright ideas. Just a few more rows-

“Argh!” He shouted in surprise as he felt something painfully wrap around his foot and subsequently send him spiraling face first to the ground, hitting it hard enough to crack his mask. Mysterio flung his head to find the culprit in the poorly lit base-turned-warehouse. He spotted a silhouette above him. “Spiderman?!”

“Not quite.” Daredevil replied as he leapt down in front of Beck. The villain scrambled as he tried to crawl away, Murdock continuing his dramatic march towards him until Mysterio suddenly had a gun. He didn’t sense one on him, but then again, it wouldn't be the first time he made such a mistake… nor would it be the last.

Mysterio started to laugh, a bitter and venomous chuckle. “Do you ever get dejavu, Daredevil? This is far too familiar for my taste.” 

Matt frowned. “How are you even alive? I heard your heart stop.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know!” He shouted, pulling the trigger. Daredevil dodged the shots, but noticed the gun seem to fade away as the formerly-dead rogue made his escape.

_ “Damn it, Matt. That was amateurish.”  _ He mentally scolded as he started after him.

Mysterio was livid. How the hell did Daredevil show up so quickly? Someone must have sold him out. Someone would die painfully tonight. Regardless, he reached his exit and grinned, opening it. Much to his displeasure, however, that pink-obsessed nitwit of a merc was standing in front of him with a goofy smile on her face, drawing a growl from Quentin. Gwenpool looked a bit offended as she sidestepped his lunge and subsequent strikes.

“Hey! You’re calling  _ me  _ a nitwit? Spiderman beat you like a week after he started crime fighting!” She shouted between his attacks. She dodged each punch before kicking him in the face, sending him staggering back.

“AH! I-wha-How did you get here?! Did you just read my mind?!”

Gwen smiled widely as she leapt on him, kneeing him in the stomach and continuing to pummel the failed special effects artist. “Plot convenience! Trust me, it hurts just as much as it helps. Oh, and yeah, but it’s not my fault I can literally read you like a book!”

One harsh blow after another, Mysterio could see darkness blurring the edge of his vision. The glass of his dome shattered, making the punches even more impactful as they landed on flesh instead of bulletproof glass. This is how he’s going to die; beaten to death by some crazy 20-something year old wannabe Deadpool. There were worse ways to die, he supposed.

Just before Gwen was about to give one last punch, Daredevil’s billyclub wrapped around her hand. “Enough! He’s done,” Matt ordered. Poole looked between him and the black-and-blue Mysterio, sighing and reluctantly climbing off him.

“Well, he’s knocked out, nobody got hurt that didn’t deserve it, and I saved the day! I’d say the first day of my superhero career is a success!” Gwen giddily announced. A ghost of a smile came to Murdock’s lips.

“Hero, eh? You just might have it in you, Gwen. So long as I don’t have to tell you to stop every time you start beating someone to death,” He warned in a more serious tone. She nodded vigorously.

A cell phone started to ring, catching the pair’s attention. “Not mine,” She said, making a mental note to take a picture of her and Daredevil. Matt was crouched over Mysterio, picking an old flip phone from the villain’s pocket before answering.

“Your shipment is late, despite the considerable resources I have offered you. Explain yourself, Mr. Beck,” Kingpin’s voice buzzed over the phone. Daredevil’s eyes narrowed in anger while Gwen’s widened in excitement.

“Mysterio was sloppy, Wilson. Stealing from S.H.I.E.L.D even more so. Getting desperate?” Daredevil mocked mirthlessly. A low growl rumbled over the phone.

“David. Come here, would you?” He asked. Moments later, a loud crack played over the phone, followed by a thud. “Did you hear the snapping of this man's trachea, Daredevil? His heart trying and failing to send blood to the brain, his lungs refusing to spread air? Of course you did. Remember it. Yours is next."

Kingpin hung up and Daredevil crushed the phone. “We’re not done yet. The Kingpin goes down tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Daredevil is more or less Netflix Daredevil, but with his proper rogues gallery from the comics and some stories being canon. For example, Guardian Devil is somewhat canon but Karen Page never became a drug addicted pornstar nor did she die. On the other hand, Nelson and Murdock did not collapse following the Castle trial like it did in the show.


End file.
